Reflections on the comments section

 A few weeks ago, I submitted a piece on provincial outsourcing policies to an editor.  She responded in a way that made it unclear if she was going to buy that piece.  Instead, she asked something like, 

"Honestly, I'd be more interested in hearing from you in terms of your observations on COVID-19 and anecdotes from the world you are living right now."  

I responded with this piece which an editor bought quickly. It went live over the weekend.  I received multiple private notes and thank you comments from women. Meanwhile, the comments sections of the CBC article (and its facebook repost) were roughly the equivalent of dumpster fires, in another friend's words.

 Multiple surveys and media reports have shown the employment/career issues with the pandemic when it comes to inequality in women's lives. I saw no reason to rehash that. Instead, I provided anecdoctal evidence of the pandemic's effects on women's careers--anecdotes from my life and 5 or so other women's lives (I described them vaguely and with composite vignettes, to preserve their anonymity).  These stories "from the front lines" weren't good enough for individuals who wanted to comment on all aspects of women's personal lives, bodies, marital and reproductive choices.

Nobody commented on my professional work credentials or education -nothing about book publications or degrees, but rather on my reproductive choices and personal blog posts! There were questions on why I'd bothered with graduate education (My undergrad advisors at Cornell thought I should?! It helped me teach at community colleges and universities in the past?) and rude comments about the rug I wove for Sadie's water bowl. It's sort of amazing what people feel emboldened to say online.

This is one reason why I like to write more on ideas/policy...but until then, I need to write what sells, and what I know.  It's not always the most intellectual stuff.  My articles on knitting, canning, baking, etc. sometimes sell faster than more academic or political critiques. People ask more about my children  than about my work...and all this is a sign of how women's work is valued in our society. (This isn't really a measure of my skills, it's about society's priorities for women.)

I'm going to keep posting here about my writing life as well as my 'home/making/creative life.' For me, they aren't really separate professional/personal spheres right now.  (I loved getting comments on the blog when folks used to leave notes!  It was a great way to build bridges.)

Many writers don't ever read the comments on their articles. I hold out hope that the feedback would be on topic and relevant so I read them. (...Although it often feels like self-flagellation.) Then I take a moment to remember something.  If these folks wrote opinion pieces and submitted them rather than filling up the comments section, they could also share their experiences and ideas.  Better yet, I think about the rug I made, or more generally, the work of my hands. I wonder if they are all capable of making rugs by hand when they need them. If not, there's no room to belittle others for their labours.

We can all talk about ideas and agree to disagree in a civil way.  Commenting negatively on people's bodies and choices doesn't push your views, ideas or agenda forward. It casts a shadow--but it's not a reflection of my work.  It reflects on the commenter's character..not mine. 

Can you see me now?

Here's my latest CBC article:
Can you see me now? Time to stop judging each other and value middle-age women
(Note: This ridiculous photo from the article is it's exactly how I don't want to look!)
Also? Happy May Long Weekend, Canadians!  We're getting in a lot of dog walks and play time...but it's definitely not warm enough yet to plant a garden in Winnipeg or anything crazy like that.  Maybe in June...

Busy week!-a class, and more

Yes, it's true!  I am teaching a spinning class in conjunction with the Pembina Fibreshed on Mother's day.  (Take yourself out and learn something new as a gift this year!)

Here's the info in case you'd like to sign up.  It's one of my "Spinner's Tasting" classes, only this one is non-wool fibres: Alpaca, Silk and Mohair.  You need to be a hand spinner to take this class--
Click here to learn more and sign up!  

Also in the news, today my piece on gender inequity ran on the CBC.  This ends my "drought," for which I'm grateful...apparently there were changes going on behind the scenes at my local CBC, but for months, nothing I wrote ran there.  -Also, maybe nothing I pitched suited them, but I kept trying about twice a month anyhow.  I've been writing as a freelancer for the CBC since about 2014.  This piece seems to be eliciting a lot of comment, which sometimes means: a) I hit a nerve or b) I'm wrong or c) not enough people are working today.  (Who knows which!? Everyone has an opinion though.)

Key to this is the idea that when powerful women speak up, sometimes folks don't want to hear it. (and even women in power have to prove their points without a doubt before being believed.) I've also seen that Canadians seem to value caucus unity more than the thorough or public airing of reasoned debate and the building of consensus among equals.  It illustrates the real differences in how Parliamentary democracies run..other countries don't worry nearly so much about party unity.  Some countries air all the political conflicts, others keep it behind closed doors at caucus meetings and insist on privacy or secrecy.  What's better for good government and transparency?

More than apologizing...

Here's my latest CBC-Manitoba opinion piece.  It's about the (lack of) sexual harassment and violence support at the University of Manitoba.

U. of Manitoba's 'sorry' not good enough when it comes to harassment, assault on campus

Supporting change through knitting

At the beginning of August, our family took a trip together.  We flew to Montreal and saw some good friends there. They were just returning overseas from a sabbatical (with a two year old) and our flight left Winnipeg at 5AM, so we were all sort of a mess, but had a big meal together and enjoyed seeing each other very much.

Then, we headed to northern Vermont, to a big family& friend celebration.  My best friend from childhood got married quietly last year, but we all gathered for an informal weekend to celebrate their big decision.  It was held at her folks' farm, and we picked many many raspberries and blueberries, played in the apple orchard treehouse, swam in the farm pond, and had fun together.  We stayed at a hotel near a glacial lake...and had a fairly big canoe tip over, too.  (All was fine, only parents fell out and it was still shallow where it happened!)  I'd seen the farm in winter  and in May, and maybe other times, too, but every season is a stunner on a well-maintained farm! (click on the links for more photos)

After that, we drove to upstate NY and visited the Professor's family vacation place, an old dairy farm.  While there, we shot more photos of Fissure.  I now wish I'd waited to release the pattern until I had these photos as I think they are much better than the first ones I featured in the pattern.  However, something more important followed.

My sister-in-law bought me this lovely yak yarn as a present a while ago.  She lives in Manhattan, and lovely high-end yarns are not hard to come by there!  However, in the meanwhile, she has been working very hard.  She is a lawyer, and is about to become a judge in New York City.

I'm enormously proud of her.  It's so important to have women in democratically elected positions of authority in our society.  Women are half of our population, but often never manage to get into positions where they can make such a big difference in the lives of others.

 While we were at the farm, our nephew, age 1, got sick with a virus and she took him home-so I could not feature her in the photos.  We stayed on with our niece (the same age as our twins), brother-in-law, the Professor's father and his wife, and spent a day or two more out and about.  Climbing on hay bales, going to Lake George, and hanging out.  We also caught a few more glimpses of Fissure before it went off to its new big city Manhattan home.

 I finish things very slowly these days...so I have only turned out one of these...but was so pleased to find out that the second completed version of this pattern is going to support Chase the Chill, a charity that donates hand knits scarves to people in Winnipeg who might need them.

I wanted to say in words how important and exciting it was to me that my (younger) relative will take on such an important and powerful position in the near future.  Words failed me, and anyway, there were three 6 and 7 year olds racing around, a toddler crying, and well, too much noise for adult communication.  Instead, I could hand her something I'd made.  So I did.

The pattern for knitting Fissure is now available on both Ravelry and Loveknitting.com.  
Let's make a break (a fissure?!) for good....making change is important.

Fierce

I think you'd have to be fierce like a lion to be a fundraiser in the Jewish community.  (Note homemade lion Purim costume for emphasis...he wore an orange -handknit-sweater and a pair of pants with a big handmade tail, too...!)

I read this article about harassment of women who work as fundraisers in the Jewish community, published by the JTA, and it really bothered me.  I followed it up by writing this opinion piece, which was published by the Jewish Independent this week:
A need for ethical guidelines
(My working title was something along the lines of: Ritual Sacrifice?  Or sacrificing fundraisers?)

On the broader topic, I've written little so far that specifically addresses the #MeToo movement.  That isn't because I have nothing to say.  I have so much to say that I don't know where to start.  The problem is so pervasive.  The worst part is that I haven't encountered a single woman who doesn't have something to say about this, based on her lived experience.

For me, it seemed so clear when I had a brief conversation at the dining room table with my mom and she said something like "Oh, what's coming out now is only the tip of the iceberg."  We talked about how we'd handled it previously, often with laughter. For a long time, all you could do is talk about the harassment or awful unwanted attention/physical assaults with your female friends and family and---laugh.  It was embarrassing and awful and...there was little one could do to fix things. Bringing up these issues in public only resulted in shame. It potentially also drew more abuse--as if we, as victims, caused this unwanted male attention, touch or assault. (If I'd only worn something else, sat in a public area, taken a different train...the list goes on.) This movement is a first step in a long process.

As a writer, I feel obligated to amplify unjust things as I can.  I am not fierce or as brave as some of these professionals who spoke out in a way that threatened their livelihood...but I owe it to them to step up and help.

Raise your hand! & Snow time

I don't usually post things from around the web, but I was heartened yesterday by two very positive things I saw online.

1) This fabulous op-ed by a 10 year old, in the New York Times.  It's about girls, and about the need to Raise Your Hand. This isn't actually a new problem; when I was teaching full time, (around 20 years ago, oy!)  I was well aware of it.  I was even more struck by it when I went back to school myself, and my grad school advisor asked me to observe his class, in 1998.  I did, I counted and took notes, and told him he called on males in undergraduate lectures many times more than females.  He totally blew me off.  (..same old, same old?)

2) We are entering 'snow time'-as one of my twins likes to say, with a grin.  We got our first snow in the middle of October, and it melted away.  We've had gray days and flurries...but today, we're supposed to get actual snow that will stick.  My kids and I are wearing wool socks every day; the kids wore warm snow boots and coats to trick or treat in the neighborhood last night--we're getting excited about the change in season.

This amazing Bhangra group from the Maritimes uses their fun dancing skills to raise money for good causes...and they have such joy while they move!  Here's one that celebrates snow. (note snow clearing equipment in the background...)
 Cause, you know what?  This is how we feel about the beginning of the 'snow time' here. :)

fair pay and feeding babies--why women's (writing) work matters

Long time blog readers may remember a few images like this from when my kids were infants?  (This used to be a pretty normal 'look' for me, but it's a while ago now, as they are about to turn six!)
Recently, I wrote a piece for the CBC about normalizing breastfeeding.  I posted about it here. Then I got approached about writing about how I fed my babies. I was enthusiastic about writing about that struggle... Except?  It was an offer for me to do it for free, and potentially provide free marketing to a very big company.  I chose to write a different opinion piece, because (surprise!) I think writers (and mothers) should get paid if they choose to write marketing copy.

 Check it out here, it ran on the CBC-Manitoba website for Mother's Day:
On Mother's Day, what about fair pay for moms?

---
It may not surprise you to hear that longtime friends of mine also like to speak out on issues that matter to them.  Long ago, I played in bands at Cornell University as an undergrad (yup, closet musician here) with Seth Kibel.  Seth has gone on to become an award-winning professional musician, and I am super proud to still know him.  (One of his first klezmer bands played at our wedding.)  Seth is launching a new album, and he's doing a Kickstarter campaign to provide support for its release.  Here's the link to the campaign, with more about this fabulous performer, and his creative efforts towards political commentary and making change. (Hint, watch the video.  He is very funny.)

Seth Kibel presents songs of Snark and Despair

Happy spring time!  Let's change the world, shall we? :) Joanne

Women's Health: Hysteria and illness

Here's a link to my latest CBC article--it came out this morning:
Hysteria, medical mysteries, and bias:sometimes unversity helps with life

The brief summary is that although hysteria is no longer a valid medical diagnosis--medical professionals still discount women's illness...and disregard the risks of Lyme disease, which is now prevalent in many places.  I felt relieved that this got published; I hope it brings attention to a real issue of concern.

It was my second "advocacy" post of the week; My current column for the Jewish Post & News is also about how women can make change during times of political unrest.  I related it to Yocheved, Moses, and her handmade, waterproofed baby basket.  My mom knit pussy hats instead...but these were both lawful and powerful, skillful ways of speaking up during a difficult time.

My mom, dad, sister-in-law, and many others marched in Washington, D.C. today, and I am so proud of them and glad that they represented us.  If we can remind the world and the U.S. political powers that be that women's rights are human rights and that women's bodies, health and well-being are human bodies, health and well-being--well, that is a huge and important step.  It's a necessary step, and it seems like one we keep having to mention.  (Oh, Doctor, do you think this could possibly be Lyme?  --I can't tell you frustrated I felt to be dismissed out of hand so often, without being offered any viable solutions for how to get better.)

Winnipeggers had a march here, as they did in Yellowknife, Ottawa, Halifax, Vancouver, Toronto...and in many other places around the world.  We weren't there...because we're still fighting this endless twin stomach bug.  It's lasting forever!

Towards the late afternoon, my husband and one of our twins (the healthier one) decided to go out yarn shopping for Mommy.  They set out through the back gate and faced a woman whose car was absolutely stuck in the deep slushy ruts of snow in our back lane...and blocking our cars' exit.  Our temperatures have gone from frigid to crazy warm for January.  As a result, everything is melting.  It took the Professor an hour of effort to try to get this car out, and finally, another man with a truck came along and pulled her out...it took team work.

Nobody got out to buy a yarn treat, but that was just fine!  I won't be running out any time soon. :)
  It was the thought that counted, and the hope that someday, someone might help me just this way if I were stuck in the snow.  Let's hope so.

poke in the eye?

My letter to the editor appeared today here in the Winnipeg Free Press newspaper.
For those who haven't heard about this case, recently a judge decided that a Manitoba rape victim's clothing implied "consent" and decided not to assign the rapist ANY jail time. Here's the latest on the case.

Unfortunately, one of the newspaper columnists had some convoluted reasoning when it came to this case. Her conclusions involved thinking that knitters were safe from sexual assault. I wish it were so...but alas, that is just not the case.

On a lighter note, I have more to post this week--the professor took some lovely photos of Festival du Voyageur. He went with some friends last weekend. --I stayed home as the windchills were -40 this year. However, I look forward to sharing the photos with you!

international women's day

One of the things I notice the most in my first year here in Canada is the way in which holidays are emphasized. For instance, I listen to the news on the radio every day, and here I listen to the CBC. This morning many of the weekend documentaries and reports were about women in honor of International Women's Day.

As a feminist in the USA, I knew about this holiday, but never knew anyone who did much about it. This year, according to their website, there are 125 events in the USA (population approximately 307 million people) and 58 events in Canada. (population something in the range of 33 million) Without boring you with the math, let's just say there seem to be many more events happening for International Women's Day in Canada than in the U.S.

Ways I'm connecting with this event? I like to celebrate the many opportunities for equality in political, environmental, social and economic expressions. On Thursday night, a new friend came by to pick up her eggs. There's a lady in the country outside of town who is raising few organic laying hens, and through a network of women's contacts, we are supporting her small micro enterprise through buying her eggs. The lady in the country sends the eggs to town to her daughter's house. My friend Christine picks up those eggs, and delivers some of them to me. That other friend comes by to pick up her eggs from my refrigerator, as she does not drive in winter. Small, personal, neighborhood exchanges, and $3.75 a dozen for some eggs...it's buying locally and economically supporting women's farming on a small one to one, old fashioned scale.

Then, also on Thursday, we went out to hear some stand up comedy. In the US, I hadn't been into most of the stand up comedy; it tended to make fun of somebody or be mean or vulgar somehow. I found it often didn't make me laugh much. Canadian comedy is different--I watch it on TV, and I went to hear Punchlines for Peace. It's an Israeli-Palestinian comedy act, and it's smart, funny and has very good intentions. The premise? "If we can laugh together, we can live together." Thinking critically about international politics and being involved in the political process when possible? A great way to express women's equality. A century ago, not many women had the vote or the right to think and talk about political matters.

On Friday evening, I led a sing along here, complete with guitar and full audience participation. The event was part of Shabbat Across North America-- where congregations all over the US and Canada had Sabbath celebrations together. It was fun--and another expression of my chance to celebrate women's equality. A hundred years ago, just like in many other religions, Jewish women weren't singing and leading congregational life in any public way. Today there are women rabbis and cantors, and in many congregations, women have the chance to fully participate in an egalitarian setting. That's progress.

This morning, I read an article in the newspaper about the carpet trade in Afghanistan. Apparently this amazing traditional weaving skill is struggling, due to competition from other countries' less expensive imports. As I warp my loom again, I'm thinking of the women involved in this economic issue, as 80% of the weavers affected are women. I'm not in the market for an Afghani rug just now, but each warp string that I successfully measured out and sleyed through the heddles connects me to those women, whose skills are legendary.

The photos in this post prove that I finished measuring my warp, I've wound it (with the professor's help) onto the back beam, and I'm slowly threading those threads through the wire heddles of my loom. It's nothing compared to an Afghan rug, but for me, it shows great progress!

There's still a lot more to do, obviously, to support women's health issues, rights, and well-being in the world. I think one easy step to take for International Women's Day is to think about how we, as individuals, advocate for equality and also to celebrate our rights together.